Day by day, I take it in and breathe as much as I can.
How the fuck did I end up this irritated? There’s too much love floating around me. And oddly enough, it’s lowkey causing me pain. Whatever yo, all this shit is fuel anyway. That’s how I built myself, forged my armor, and wear it.
I ain’t even gonna lie, my strides of strength been going up and down. I think it’s this cold, or maybe it’s all these sirens I hear every god damn day — Lord knows my mental frizzy. I turn around and dap up my anger, confide in my malice. That feeling certainly I know well. It put all that passion into my 808s .I wonder how long I can tap into that nuclear energy. Till I croak. Tequila temper tantrums and not enough time. Life ain’t all bad I guess. At least I got a way to release; I’m smart enough to release. Some niggas don’t got that. It seems like, through all this fatigue, I’ll still get my work done because it ain’t really work. Do I measure a goal? Plot a dream? At times, it feels as though I’m writing a script and I don’t even really think that it’s that good, but I’ll still keep writing. Still have to go on. I mean, what options do I really have at this point? I’ve exhausted the others.
The glass and needles on this road I’m walking, I’ll let it be known I sing to the boys and girls. How it feels to be a ghost, not real. People know I’m here but they can’t understand it all. I’ll keep at it. Doing it all for my folks, for my people, my friends, and my kin. I can’t imagine myself doing it for anything else.
I guess anger isn’t the only emotion that drives me to do crazy things. Family does too. They drive me. Initially some thoughts were, “This dad life is something else I tell ya.” This little one is ripping and running all around. Having a little you is great. It also taught me how to stay dangerous, crafty, and resilient. It really made me shift gears. Honesty is a huge reason why I hold an amount of impatience. You want something so bad it will work. I know this is obtainable. I’ll stop at nothing to get it. Ain’t no Google Maps for this baby. No shuck and jive, no tap dancing to get it. 100% Ghost Anti until I die. Flip life on its head and win.
I spent too much time losing. Can’t have that no more. No sir. Took too many humbles yo. Can’t stop, won’t stop on my Bad Boy shit. Although all this is new to me, it feels familiar for some reason. Some type of déjà vu. I don’t know, I’m just letting things take their course. Try not to overload my brain with thoughts. I have a knack for doing that. The hard part is recognizing.
Anyways, I’ll get there.
